Hello Divas! Is is just me or are there just TONS of opportunities to come unglued these days? We had a great discussion on last Saturday talking about the labels that other people place on us or that we place on ourselves.
I just love the way Lysa Terkerust (the author of our study) summed it all up: “God doesn’t allow the unglued moments of our lives to happen so we’ll label ourselves and stay stuck. He allows the unglued moments to make us aware of the chiseling that needs to be done.” AMEN!
At the end of our time together, Lysa challenged us to practice pausing and whispering “Let God Chisel” before reacting to difficult situations. How is that working out for you?
In chapter 4, Lysa discussed the ways we come unglued. We either 1) explode by loudly or forcefully expressing our feelings or 2) stuff everything deep down inside and pretend to be “fine”. Lysa went on to describe actual subcategories of exploding and stuffing.
The four categories of unglued reactions are:
- Exploders who shame themselves (Yell first, feel horrible later)
- Exploders who blame others (Yell and then blame the other person for your behavior)
- Stuffers who build barriers (Say everything is fine but then get distant)
- Stuffers who collect retaliation rocks ( Silent record keeping of every wrong doing only to be brought up later)
Call me crazy but depending on my audience, I can react in all of these ways. Don’t let someone close to me like my husband or children dance on one of my nerves, I can explode and blame, stuff and build a barrier while collecting my retaliation rocks, and shame myself for it ALL in record time.
The point is to have something Lysa calls “Soul Integrity”. “Soul Integrity is honesty that is godly. Soul Integrity brings balance to unglued situations. It makes us true peacemakers–people who aren’t stuffing or exploding but rather honestly demonstrating what they are experiencing in a godly manner.
A passage in the book of James speaks about Soul Integrity:
James 3: 13-15, 17
Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15 Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic….But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.
How can you respond in ways that are: considerate, submissive, impartial, full of mercy and sincere this week?
Homework: Read Chapters 4, 5 and 6 before our next study time together (October 20, 2012)